One of the hardest things in life is to let go of old hurts. We often say, or at least think: “What you did to me and my family, my ancestors, or my friends I cannot forget or forgive. … One day you will have to pay for it.” Sometimes our memories are decades, even centuries, old and keep asking for revenge.
Holding people’s faults against them often creates an impenetrable wall. But listen to Paul: “For anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation: the old order is gone and a new being is there to see. It is all God’s work” (2 Corinthians 5:17-18). Indeed, we cannot let go of old hurts, but God can. Paul says: “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not holding anyone’s fault against them” (2 Corinthians 5:19). It is God’s work, but we are God’s ministers, because the God who reconciled the world to God entrusted to us “the message of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:19). This message calls us to let go of old hurts in the Name of God. It is the message our world most needs to hear.


12 comments
Comments feed for this article
December 30, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Jana Allard
I feel sorry for people who cannot let go of hurts because their hurt never stops and they are allowing the one who hurt them to rule their life. Often the victim feels if they release or forgive the hurt they are justifying the wrong. Letting go or forgiving an injustice does not give approval to the perpetrator or condone the action. Letting go and forgiving sends healing to the wounded soul. The one who committed the wrong will pay for their action at some point. Let God take care of them. “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.”
December 30, 2007 at 5:33 pm
helenl
Hi Jana, I agree. Life must be awful for those who refuse to forgive.
December 31, 2007 at 12:55 am
Jana Allard
Helen – I know a preacher’s wife who was abused as a young girl. She knows the scripture but refuses to forgive. She is one of the most pitiful people I know. Her mind is tormented and her body almost non-functioning. Many people have tried to reason with her and her response remains, “I can’t ever forgive.” Her entire being has been consumed with bitterness. The abuser hasn’t been around for decades but this lady is still controlled by him. It is horribly sad. Being involved in ministry, I find these kind of cases the most difficult to understand and I struggle with compassion. At times I feel guilty because I don’t feel I have enough compassion for people who can help their situations but refuse. Pray for the wounded and pray for me that I can have a better spirit to help them.
October 30, 2009 at 4:52 pm
janet martin
you don’t have to struggle w/the compassion…..let go let god…..it should be as easy for you as you think it is for her. simple! I’ve prayed for you all.
October 30, 2009 at 5:47 pm
helenl
Janet, I think you moved too quickly over the first sentence: “One of the hardest things in life is to let go of old hurts.”
No one is pretending this is easy. It is anything but simple. Sometimes the hardest things in the world are the most necessary. But those who have been abused know they will never be free, until they forgive.
December 31, 2007 at 1:06 am
helenl
I will pray, Jana. I know her pain, but I also know the freedom of forgiveness. I will pray for your understanding and patience, Jana. We who had strong parents in the Lord have such an advantage.
December 31, 2007 at 7:06 am
misslionheart
Life’s too short, that’s my new motto!
December 31, 2007 at 10:26 am
helenl
Hi Miss Lionheart, I think you’re right.
January 1, 2008 at 6:46 am
Jana Allard
Thank you, Helen. I believe in the power of prayer and appreciate you praying for me. I am a work in progress.
July 5, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Sylvia Gibson
Wow, where is the compassion? When people keep reliving past pain, it may be that so called “friends/family” have told them “to move on” “get over it” etc, thus causing the person who is in pain to bury the pain and it festers.
Learn to just listen and hold thier hand, that’s what a true friend would do. Each time the pain is repeated, it heals from the inside out. Burying it is what causes the anger, bitterness, depression and continued pain.
When someone has been hurt, your way of “getting over it” may not be thier way. What makes you so sure that someone needs to be forgiven? Why not just listen to the persons pain so they can heal from the inside? I’ve seen people that have gone through horrible ordeals, and not heard anyone say simple words like: “how awful for you” I’m so sorry that you endured that” etc.. Simple words that validate anothers pain. The pain is real to them. Just acknowledge it. When you don’t you only serve to minimaize thier pain.
July 5, 2009 at 2:26 pm
helenl
Sylvia, I think Nouwen is speaking of letting go of our own hurts and forgiving those who hurt us. Of course the pain is real, but it’s sort of weird to say ” how awful for you” to oneself. Forgiveness is way for anyone to get over being hurt.
October 30, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Ann M Ingersoll
No wonder I can’t let it go…I need to give it to the Lord and let Him do it….Thank you