Comments on: A Nonjudgmental Pressure by Henri Nouwen

By: Sherry Chandler » The Shadow Self

Sherry Chandler » The Shadow Self — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 14:28:15 +0000

[...] argument seems to me to speak to Ritwik Bannerjee’s comment at Windows Toward the World that those who judge never [...]

By: helenl

helenl — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 17:33:00 +0000

Hi Jana, I agree. Forgiveness is mostly for oneself. And yes, we do know when others have wronged or offended us.

By: Jana Allard

Jana Allard — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:14:05 +0000

More often than not, forgiveness is needed for oneself. You don’t have to pass judgment on someone because they wronged you or offended you, but you do need to give forgiveness if only in your own heart. It keeps bitterness and anger away. A forgiving heart is as you, Helen, once said, it allows others to be human. Humanity is not perfect and a forgiving person gives allowance for our imperfections.

By: helenl

helenl — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 18:22:43 +0000

Hi Ritwik, I agree with Sherry in that your idea about those who judge learn nothing is worth pondering. I also see your point about if we don’t judge who do we forgive, but I don’t buy the idea that because some people confuse forgiveness with weakness, we ought to let that influence our actions. Other people perceive things wrong all the time, and so what? But thanks so much for providing food for thought. I’ll post Nouwen’s next devotional in a few minutes.

Hi Sherry, Because so many think Christianity is about intolerance, the rest of have a hard time convincing non-Christians that we care.

Hi Ellen, I think that’s a tough one. Oh, it’s easy enough in theory – live and let live – but when it comes to close friends and family members, it gets very sticky. Maybe here it’s more about understanding how others handle the situation differently than we would and not judging them. Maybe it’s about me not judging what you do when you encounter these sticky situations and decide to do something I’d never do. Life is not cut-and-dried for any of us.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 14:59:58 +0000

Thank you Helen – where I have trouble is finding the line between acceptance and enabling in my personal relationships – to not judge a person’s choices (like choosing not to work) but to not enable (by keeping on bailing them out when they can’t pay their bills) – how do I find that balance? Just rambling….

Merry Christmas, Helen

By: Sherry

Sherry — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:20:16 +0000

Thank you for this quote, Helen. So many today seem to think that Christianity is about intolerance. Such attitudes seem born of fear.

And Ritwik, what an interesting idea that those who judge learn nothing. I will ponder that.

By: Ritwik Banerjee

Ritwik Banerjee — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 10:01:36 +0000

I don’t know whether I agree completely with forgiveness, but I do understand that we are not here to judge. Those who judge never learn, They are as blind when they leave as they were when they were born.

I may not agree to forgiveness because of two reasons. First, many people do not understand the difference between forgiveness and weakness. They misconceive the inability to protest as the decision to forgive miscreants. Second, and this is more interesting, is that if we are not to judge, then who are we to forgive? The notion of forgiveness is born only with a wrongdoing. If we are not to judge, then how can we possibly have the right to forgive?

By: helenl

helenl — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:05:54 +0000

Hi Jana, Isn’t that beautiful.

By: Jana Allard

Jana Allard — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 23:01:03 +0000

That last sentence says it all. We must long for reconciliation.