Choosing life instead of death demands an act of will that often contradicts our impulses. Our impulses want to take revenge, while our wills want to offer forgiveness. Our impulses push us to an immediate response: When someone hits us in the face, we impulsively want to hit back.
How then can we let our wills dominate our impulses? The key word is wait. Whatever happens, we must put some space between the hostile act directed toward us and our response. We must distance ourselves, take time to think, talk it over with friends, and wait until we are ready to respond in a life-giving way. Impulsive responses allow evil to master us, something we always will regret. But a well thought-through response will help us to “master evil with good” (Romans 12.21).
6 comments
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September 3, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Larry
It’s kind of like the training I give my ADD kid.
Red- stop
Yellow- think about what you are going to say or do.
Green- go ahead.
Great post, just what I needed. You won’t believe this but I am very impulsive.
September 3, 2007 at 1:28 pm
helenl
Hi Larry, I think many of us are.
September 3, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Jana Allard
Helen – I have been so busy this week-end and just finished reading your recent posts. I didn’t realize I was so far behind. Thanks for all your wonderful thoughts. I don’t have time to really “think” and give response, but I have enjoyed the read.
September 3, 2007 at 10:18 pm
helenl
Hi Jana, I kind of know what you mean.
September 3, 2007 at 11:24 pm
Ritwik Banerjee
I would say, the impulsive reaction when I am getting hit in my face, is to defend myself. I think impulses can be tailored by the thoughts of an individual. I have been trying to do that since I was around fifteen years old. I wrote to my uncle about a rare occurrence of anger in my mind a few days ago. here is his reply:
September 4, 2007 at 7:59 am
helenl
Hi Ritwik, It’s interesting how your uncle explained this. I think I agree, at least in part. We choose to be happy or sad, but we do not choose the circumstances that come into our lives. We shouldn’t allow circumstances to dominate us.